Joyful Mysteries Lived

We were recently chosen to adopt a baby girl, our first child. In our travels to pick her up, I found myself meditating on the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary. It struck me how much our own experience of expanding the love of our family parallels the way that God expanded the sign of His love by sending His Son. I guess it shouldn't surprise me. After all, that's what God does. I wonder why it never struck me before.

First Joyful Mystery: The Annunciation "The Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary . . ."

Jodi received the phone call at about 8:30 on a Friday morning. It was our adoption agent asking permission to share our name and information with another agency that had an emergency situation and needed to place a baby right away. Of course, we said yes. At 11:00 she received a call from that adoption agency telling us that we had been chosen by the birth mother. That evening, Jodi and I called the agent back and we talked about the details regarding how to proceed: paperwork, traveling, working with the interstate agencies, and the steps toward finalizing the adoption. Now, Jodi and I have not really been waiting long for a child, compared to some couples who have struggled with infertility. We have only been trying for about three years, and we have only been in the adoption "pool" for only three months. So, our journey toward parenthood was rather quick. However, in those three years the longing in our hearts has grown tremendously. We so much ached for this expansion of our marital love, for the fulfillment of our vocation. As the good news sank in, I thought about all the times in the Bible that God had brought life out of barrenness. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, bore Isaac. Manoah’s wife was infertile until she bore Sampson. Elizabeth bore John the Baptist “in her old age.” And Mary, who as far as we know was not infertile but who was a virgin who did “not know a man,” conceived Jesus. They too knew the longing that our hearts experienced. Ironically, Mary knew it best, even though as an unmarried woman (and possibly a consecrated virgin) she had no reason to expect pregnancy. Her longing was the longing of all of Israel waiting for their messiah. I don’t believe that she felt the desire explicitly all her life, but I can easily imagine the dammed-up desire of the entire Hebrew people (indeed of all of humanity) throughout history suddenly rushing into her heart at the Angel’s words. How painful and joyful that news must have been - the satisfaction of the desire of her heart that she had not even been fully aware of until just then. We knew it well on the day we received our own annunciation.

Second Joyful Mystery: The Visitation “Immediately Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth…”

At the close of our phone conversation with the adoption agent, he said, “So when can you be here? If you can be here on Monday …” Monday! That gave us only the weekend to get plane tickets and to get ourselves together for a journey. The preparation that weekend was frantic but joyful. We had the opportunity to celebrate our good news at a family birthday party on Saturday night. Mass that Sunday was especially filled with feelings of gratitude. Monday was a long day of flying and layovers, though the journey went smoothly. We arrived at our destination late Monday night and got to the hotel room too tired to do anything but sleep, but almost too excited to sleep. What must have Mary’s trip to Elizabeth been like? She was not traveling to receive her promised child. Instead, she was traveling to complete an act of love, to care for her cousin in her pregnancy. I have always admired this about Mary. However, now I know what kind of act it really was. Mary’s heart must have been bursting with joy, with the Good News that she had received from the Angel and with the sense of the new life inside her womb. She must have been aching to share that news with somebody. Yet, she suppressed her desire to make the journey to care for Elizabeth first. I can clearly picture her packing for her journey. I can feel the almost painful excitement, bordering on impatience, as she worked, and then as she waited for the long journey to be complete. Did Mary have anyone to celebrate with before she met Elizabeth? How many prayers of Thanksgiving and Praise must she have uttered as she traveled? Then, when she meets Elizabeth, Elizabeth greets her with, “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And how is it that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, as soon as the sound of your greeting met my ears the child in my womb leapt for joy. And blessed are you that believed, because those things shall be accomplished that were spoken to you by the Lord.” The dam in Mary’s heart bursts and she pours forth the words of praise and wonder that have been forming in her heart during the entire journey:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord.
My spirit rejoices in God my savior,
For He has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed.
The almighty God has done great things for me.
His mercy endures form age to age,
And holy is His name…

Oh how this same song was streaming from our hearts as we tried fruitlessly to sleep that night, realizing all of God’s goodness.

Third Joyful Mystery: The Nativity of Our Lord “…Mary kept all these words, pondering them in her heart.”

Our new baby was born before we even knew about her. We experienced her nativity when we picked her up from the foster home and held her in our arms for the first time. While we had nothing to do with giving her life, we knew at that moment that we were being called to be her parents, to nurture her and to love her. We experience this overwhelming epiphany again and again whenever we look into her beautiful face. Our hearts overflow with love. What must it have been like for Mary? Her baby too was born before she knew about Him. He was the eternal Word before He took on human nature. While Mary gave birth to His human nature, His Divine Person existed before all time. Yet, she accepted the overwhelming responsibility of being the Mother of God. She nurtured Jesus’ human nature and she loved Him. What must if have been like for Mary? We don’t know if she experienced pain in child birth. Popular Catholic tradition is that she did not, and that would make sense since pain in childbirth is a consequence of Original Sin. Would Christ, who conquered the effect of Original Sin throughout his earthly ministry and in His Passion, Death, and Resurrection, not come into this world already conquering sickness, suffering and death? Yet, if she did feel pain in child birth, Mary’s love would have made that pain meaningful, beautiful. Our love for our new baby daughter certainly transformed all of the pain we experienced facing our own infertility. All of that suffering was for her. It suddenly did not feel so much like suffering as we gazed into the peaceful face of our new baby daughter. What must it have been like for Mary? If our hearts overflow with love as we gaze at our baby, what must it have been like for Mary to gaze into the face of Love Himself? If our love for our daughter is almost painful at times, how unbearable must her love have been as she looked into the face of God? I am caught up in reverie as I watch our family accept our new baby daughter into their lives and hearts, as I see her fitting herself into our household and family. I have a new appreciation for Mary as she pondered the mystery of love in her own heart.

Fourth Joyful Mystery: The Presentation of the Baby Jesus in the Temple ”And after the days of her purification, according to the law of Moses, were accomplished, they carried him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord.”

The adoption of our daughter will not be complete until this summer. We await that day with a little apprehension, and with eager anticipation. Most of all, we look forward to the day when we can present her to the Lord in Baptism. On that day we will allow Jesus’ grace to wash away original sin so that our adopted daughter may be adopted by God as His own child. When Mary and Joseph presented Jesus at the temple, Simeon and Anna gave them a glimpse into who their baby boy really was, and what kind of person he would be like: “Behold this child is set for the fall and for the resurrection of many in Israel and for a sign which shall be contradicted.” What will our baby daughter become as she grows up? Looking into her beautiful eyes I sometimes think I catch a glimpse of who she is, but it is elusive. It is only enough to make me wonder. When Mary said, “behold, the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word,” she did not fully know what she was saying yes to. She was saying yes to whatever God planned for her. Her yes was an act of faith, of loving trust. I made my own “fiat” when I said “I do” at the altar. When I married my wife, I was saying yes to whatever God had planned for us. As we adopt our daughter, we continue to say yes. We say yes to whomever she is, whomever she becomes. We say yes in loving trust to the mystery.

Fifth Joyful Mystery: The Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple ”…and not finding him, they returned into Jerusalem, seeking him.”

Well, we haven’t actually lost our daughter yet, or left her anyplace. However, perhaps this mystery is the most relevant of all. Even though she was full if grace, Mary was still a human parent. She still struggled to grasp the mystery of parenthood, as well as the mystery of her Son. This is the challenge and the joy of parenthood. It is a mystery. It is cooperation in the very love of God. This was especially true for Mary, who was the parent of Love Himself. But it is also true for us. Marriage is a sacrament, a reflection of a divine reality. As we love each other, and as we love our daughter, we are sharing God’s love. This is an awesome reality. It is also an awesome responsibility. Are mere human beings capable of it? Only by the grace of God.

Conclusion
Isn’t God amazing? By coming to earth and taking on human nature, the Second Person of the Trinity has intimately tied Himself to human experience. In a very loose paraphrase of Pope John Paul II, Christ draws close to human experience. Now, as we go through the natural occurrences of human life, we are able to reflect on the Divine Life of God. Our human experience is given Divine meaning, Moreover, we are able to daily participate in God’s divine life. As we exercise love for each other, even (especially) in the family, we are also exercising our love for God, and experiencing His love for us. I hope the Holy Spirit continues to bring these truths to my mind. As we experience everything that people warned us about – stinky diapers, sleepless nights, changed schedules, changed lives – these meditations have turned potential suffering to great joy. God is great!

Who would have thought that such a little baby could give rise to such deep ponderings? It’s amazing what comes to mind during these 5:00 AM feedings…

In the love of Christ,

Jeff
(No pen name - this was a personal experience of the true author!)