To Be Like Children

In yesterday's Gospel Jesus proclaimed that whoever wants to enter the Kingdom of God must be like a little child. Predictably, the homily (given by a holy, reverent priest whom I love greatly) predictably included a line or two about the "traits of a child that Jesus loved" including how "innocent, pure and selfless" children are. I do not say this often, but this homily obviously comes from the mind of a celibate priest with no daily contact with children.

Mothers and fathers know that children are far from innocent, pure and selfless. In theological terms we would say that children are all physical appetites with no self-control. They are completely self-centered, honestly believing the the entire world exists to meet their needs. Their quest for food, comfort, entertainment and attention is constant and unrelenting. When they don't receive what they want they throw temper tantrums or whine. When Jesus says that we must enter the Kingdom like little children, he is not talking about childlike traits of innocence, purity and selflessness. He is God. He knows better.

The vision of children as the ideal actually comes from a theological error adopted by the humanistic philosophical/psychological theory called Transactional Analysis (TA). According to TA the human personality is divided into three aspects (borrowed from Freud). The child is innocent, fun-loving, free and happy. The "parent" is the seat of high expectations (read here morality as well as social and personal ideals) and is scolding, sober, and squelching. The adult is the "real" person attempting to navigate through the world balancing the inner child and the inner parent. TA teaches that the main cause of unhappiness is that the parent takes over the adult and the inner child is suppressed. Psychological health occurs when the inner child is balanced with the demands of the real world (with the inner parent being all but suppressed).

The problem with this theory is that it denies Original Sin and fallen human nature. It holds that dysfunction enters the human personality as a result of environment and experience. A believer in TA would hold that if a child could be raised without the corrupting influences of society and family, the child would grow up to be pure, innocent, peaceful and happy. As Catholics and as parents we know the fallacy of this belief. Yet, it has found its way into popular thinking about children and even into our homilies.

So what did Jesus mean when he said we must enter the Kingdom as little children? The one trait that children have that Jesus admires is complete dependence. Children have no social status and no power. Recall that Jesus' statement about children comes after the apostles ask which of them is the greatest. Jesus tells us adults that we need to realize that even with all of our sophistication, talents and education in the face of God we are still completely dependent. If we are going to make it to the Kingdom of God it will not be by our own power. It will be by the love and grace of God - just as a child receives nothing by his or her own power but only by the love of his or her parents. As our priest said, quoting St. Augustine, "Three things are needed to enter the Kingdom: humility, humility, and humility."