Wanted: Directionless Joe

Summary: Directionless Joe is sneaky and often hard to identify in kids that seem to be well behaved. He is wanted for stealing the meaning out of life and for leading children away from lives of holiness (contributing to the delinquency of a minor).

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The first organ chord sounds and strong male voices fill the sanctuary with praise to the Lord in complete abandon. Can you picture it? In your mind, are all of the men dressed in monk habits? It is interesting how we have come to accept that this picture could never take place in our home parishes. Where are all of the guys at Mass? I sit at all-school Masses and watch rows of teenaged boys stand stony-faced as the girls around them carry them in song. While some teachers are tempted to blame bashfulness in the presence of girls or peer pressure in the presence of each other, I watch those same students standing stony-faced next to their statuesque fathers at Mass on Sundays. “Like father, like son” is more than a simple cliché.

The first role models are the parents. Young children absorb their parents’ actions and attitudes like sponges. Even while they seem to be rebelling against everything you stand for, adolescents look to you for guidance on what makes the list of important goals in their lives. If parents fail to make a relationship with God important in their lives, no amount of Catholic schooling or youth ministry will ever make up for the lack. If parents fail to express their love for God openly, or if they just go through the motions of religion without living out their meaning, their children will follow their lead.

The most important part of being a role model for the faith is to practice your faith with love. Pray the Mass with full, conscious participation. If you do not understand the Mass, or part of the Mass, find out what it means so that you can pour your whole heart and mind into your prayer, and then teach what you learn to your children. It also helps to be conscious of your body language at Mass. Prayerful posture and meaningful motions help guide your internal disposition during Mass, focusing your attention and reminding you of the significance of each part of the Mass. It may seem awkward at first, especially when it seems that you are the only one doing it, but I have attended Masses where most of the congregation performs these actions, and the result is a Mass that is reverent and meaningful. The motivation for doing any of this, of course, must be our love for God and our desire to enter into worship with our entire being. When our children see that the Mass is a meaningful act of love for us, it will become so for them as well.

That worship must be carried into our everyday lives as well. Besides full, conscious participation at Mass, we must also be engaged in full, active participation within our vocation as laity. The document Lumen Gentium from Vatican II reminded the laity that they have a vocation unique from that of the priesthood or the religious. The role of the laity is to transform the world by living out the Gospel within their secular roles. The material world that used to be considered evil, or at least of lesser value than the religious world, was recognized by Vatican II as the main mission field. Each Christian has a unique role to play in the mission of the Church. Our children need to see us actively and regularly discerning the role God has called us to play and faithfully carrying out our unique vocations. Such discernment requires frequent and fervent prayer. Our prayer should be visible and inviting, motivated by love for God and a deep desire to be united to Him. Living out our vocation requires that we become people of virtue, people who have good moral habits. Our children need to see us doing good readily, cheerfully, and habitually. Of course, if you are going to live your faith and be an active role model for your children, you have to know your faith and teach it. We cannot love or live what we do not know, and without knowledge our children will not know the importance of what we are trying to model for them.

Keep a sharp lookout for Directionless Joe and do everything you can to keep him away from your children. The best defense against him is solid catechesis and good role modeling. If he is spotted, he needs to be confronted directly and immediately run out of town.