Wanted: Enemies of Holiness for Teenagers

Summary: This is the beginning of a series based on my observations as a Catholic school teacher about the struggle of teenaged young adults to become holy. Have you ever wondered why America produces so few saints? Have you ever compared American Catholic teenagers to Protestant teenagers and asked yourself why Protestant teens seem so much more active in their faith than Catholics? Have you ever struggled in the middle of the night with thoughts that you were failing as a parent because your teen seems to be rejecting the faith? I hope that my observations can offer you some pointers to help you create a family atmosphere more likely to nurture holiness in the heart of your teen. While Catholic schools and youth groups can be a great help to parents, only the family can truly counteract the damaging influences of our culture and prepare the soil of the heart for the seed of grace.

In the next few days, I'll present some of the "most wanted" enemies of holiness. If these eneimes show us in your home, secure the heart of your family from intrusion and call on Saint Micahael's Security Service (you know, the archangel) .

Click below to read this log entry:

Who cares about holiness?
I often get sympathetic sighs and pats whenever I tell people that I teach high school morality at a Catholic school. The truth is, however, that I enjoy teaching morality more than any other subject I teach. This class gives me a unique perspective into the teenage life. I watch as they interact with their faith, which many do quite honestly within the classroom. I also watch as they react to the ramifications of the Gospel in their lives. “You mean I have to give us that? You mean that is a sin? You mean I should be doing that?” The unique perspective that I gain watching their reactions and struggles also offers me a singular insight into the difficulties they have in trying to attain holiness.

Holiness. You sure don’t hear that word much these days. Isn’t it an outdated term, a “pre-Vatican II concept?” One would think so, considering the reception the word receives in certain circles, and the small amount of press it receives from the pulpit of most parishes. Perhaps part of the problem is that we do not properly understand holiness. We tend to see it as a sort of impossible pureness, attainable only by those few lucky people known as “saints.” In actuality, holiness is the very goal of every Christian. The primary element of holiness is a relationship with Jesus Christ. A truly intimate relationship with Christ always leads to a desire to conquer sin and perfect charity (the same self-sacrificing love that Jesus showed to us), and the grace to help us do so. Holiness does not happen all at once, and we should not expect immediate perfection from ourselves or from others. It is a struggle and a process. Yet, perfection can be reached in this world, and sometimes is. For the rest of us, God’s grace intervenes and offers us purification in purgatory (another “pre-Vatican II concept?). Is holiness an antiquated ideal banished by Vatican II? Let’s look at what the documents of that esteemed council have to say:

Therefore in the Church, everyone whether belonging to the hierarchy, or being cared for by it, is called to holiness…Thus it is evident to everyone, that all the faithful of Christ of whatever rank or status, are called to the fullness of the Christian life and to the perfection of charity; by this holiness as such a more human manner of living is promoted in this earthly society. In order that the faithful may reach this perfection, they must use their strength accordingly as they have received it, as a gift from Christ. They must follow in His footsteps and conform themselves to His image seeking the will of the Father in all things. They must devote themselves with all their being to the glory of God and the service of their neighbor. In this way, the holiness of the People of God will grow into an abundant harvest of good, as is admirably shown by the life of so many saints in Church history.

The classes and duties of life are many, but holiness is one-that sanctity which is cultivated by all who are moved by the Spirit of God, and who obey the voice of the Father and worship God the Father in spirit and in truth (Lumen Gentium 39-41).

These words should excite us and challenge us. We are called to an internal adventure that has no comparison in the world of extreme sports. The personal perfection offered by so many humanistic self-help books and $500-an-hour psychologists is offered by a God who has the power to make it happen. If you are not yet on the path to holiness, I urge you – and Christ commands you – to take up the challenge. However, this article is not about personal holiness. This article is intended for parents. I would like to share with parents some of my insights about the conditions and influences that stand in the way of holiness in their children. Since I work with adolescents, I will tailor my comments for parents of teenagers, but the advice I give really needs to be implemented throughout childhood. I encourage parents with children of all ages to consider the advice they find in this article. It’s never too late, or too early, to be concerned about your children’s well-being!

Not my child!
Does it surprise you that your child can become holy? Is it not natural for kids to avoid religion during the teenage years? I know the dreams many parents have for their children do not include the perfection of spiritual maturity. We want our children to become great athletes and successful career professionals, usually in that order. After all, there is plenty of time for them to worry about their spiritual lives…after they get old. Anyway, is it not best for teenagers to make decisions about religion free of our influence?

The truth is – the spiritual welfare of your child cannot wait. The habits that lead to spiritual perfection take a lifetime to master. In addition, spiritual maturity leads to true happiness – the ability to suck the marrow out of life, to live the way the Creator made us to live without falling prey to meaningless or empty pursuits. When it comes to our children’s happiness, no parent fails to do all he can, and immediately. As for teenagers making decisions about religion on their own, I notice that the more important a decision is for a child’s future, the less choice parents tend to give the child, and rightfully so. Parents have awareness that teenagers are not yet equipped to make all decisions for themselves. The decision to have a relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important decision anyone can make, bar none. Each person must make that decision for herself, but such a decision does not happen in a vacuum. If a child is not trained in faith and morals, if she does not experience the influence of faith-filled parents and faith-filled people in her life, then the only influence on her decision will be secular influences devoid of God. Parents have a duty to make sure that their children are able to make a decision for Christ with as many tools as possible. Wait a second; is it really a duty? Where did that come from? Well, you had your child baptized, didn’t you?

One of the professors for my masters degree said, “if people really knew what they were getting themselves into when they got their children baptized, they wouldn’t dare.” Infants are baptized in the Catholic Church to show that God’s love and mercy cannot be earned. God always makes the first move. We can deserve grace no more than a helpless infant earned it. Nevertheless, God’s grace does demand a response. For adults, that response usually takes the form of conversion. Since infants are not able to make such a response, the Church makes it for them, especially the parents and the godparents. The response you and the rest of the Church make for your children is the promise to raise them in the faith, giving them the knowledge and experiences that lead them to God so they can choose to have Him in their lives. God rewards our responses to His grace with more grace, but he also holds those who gain much grace to a stricter judgment. “Of he to whom much is given, much is expected.” When we have our children baptized, we are setting them and ourselves up for greater judgment, or for immeasurable gains. No matter how little we like to think about it, final judgment is a reality. However, perhaps it is just as convincing to consider what you and your family are missing if holiness is not your main goal. Holiness really does lead to peace and happiness, in this life and in the next. Who would not want that for his entire family? The rest of this article will look at the six main suspects in the crime of robbing our youth of holiness.