WAnted: Overwhelmed Ossie

Summary: Overwhelmed Ossie is wanted for stealing family bonding time and personal energy, causing confusion in children and leading them astray, and vandalizing the internal life.

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One of the most neglected Commandments today is “Keep holy the Sabbath.” No one would argue the fact that people today are busy. Few would argue with the judgment that our business is not healthy. While business is easily identified in adults, however, it often goes unnoticed in children. Part of the reason for our inability, or perhaps our unwillingness, to see how busy our children are comes from the laudable desire to make sure they get the most from their childhood experiences. We want them to be active in sports, social events, and academic clubs. We want them to have friends in school and church. We want them to sample from the buffet of life in their childhood so that they can make better decisions as adults and have fewer regrets about experiences untried and opportunities lost. In the process, however, we have encouraged our children to fill their lives so completely that they have no time for the truly important things in life.

The first thing sacrificed on the altar of business is family bonding. Even when families strongly support the child by attending events and volunteering with parent organizations, their roles often become relegated to spectator and advocate. Families need quality time together to communicate and interact in order to stay healthy. It is in the family that children learn how to love, self-sacrifice, and serve. Most importantly, it is the primary place for children to experience the love of Christ. These necessary lessons in holiness cannot happen unless families spend real time together. It seems taken for granted today that teenagers do not want to spend time with their families. However, I find many teenagers do enjoy their families and display great affection for them. Although it is natural for teenagers to pull away from their parents to some degree in order to sort out and internalize their own values. If the habit of quality family time is established early on and firmly maintained, this time of searching does not have to result in estrangement. In fact, a teen’s bond with his or her family can provide the necessary shelter against corrupting influences in the world in order to ensure that he or she is free to choose the Catholic faith.

One thing that amazes me in the classroom is how often some students fall asleep in class. At first I was tempted to be insulted by their lack of consciousness while I taught. Then, during a lesson on the necessity and function of sleep in psychology class, the students revealed to me that they all felt that they did not have enough energy to make it through the day. Was the problem lack of sleep? Indirectly. The problem was too many expectations. Not only was their business keeping them from sleeping the requisite nine hours a night, it was forcing them to use up all of their energy before they even got home to their families. By the time they had finished school, sports or extracurricular activities and sports, and jobs, they did not have energy left over to spend on family or homework. Deficits of energy and sleep cannot be made up easily. In fact, they tend to compound. When we are tired, we do not use our energy efficiently. It takes more energy to perform the same tasks. When we are rested, we are able to accomplish more in less time and with less energy, and we enjoy life a lot more as well. Overwhelmed teenagers do not get the most out of life.

Overwhelmed lifestyles also teach the wrong priorities. God did not give us the Third Commandment for His own sake. He gave it, as He gave all the Commandments, for our own good. “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27). Relaxation on the Sabbath helps us to keep our priorities straight. Our loving Father wants us to form our lives around eternal truths and goods. Living overwhelmed lifestyles teaches us to focus on short-term goals and pleasures. The quest for good grades, athletic success, and money becomes all-consuming. The fact that students are as busy on Sundays as they are on every other day of the week is one sign of the mixed up priorities busy schedules are teaching teenagers. Don’t we also add to the confusion when we give more praise for success in sports and extra-curricular activities than for acts of faith and charity or success in academics?

Spiritual development requires a well-developed interior life. We find God most intimately in the quiet and solitude of our hearts and minds. Spiritual development requires a well-developed interior life. God tells us, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Spiritual fathers such as Saint Thomas Aquinas, Saint Francis de Sales, and Thomas Merton recommend daily prayer and reflection, frequent examination of conscience and spiritual reading. The habit of doing these quiet activities must begin in childhood. They require discipline and the ability to be comfortable in quiet and solitude. Children need space and time to grow in these abilities. An over-busy lifestyle filled with activity and noise make the development of an interior life impossible. Many high school students complain when they are required to read an entire book for class. They have music, television, or video games filling up the empty spaces in their lives whenever possible. Many students are more knowledgeable and passionate about movies and television programs than they are about literature, classic or popular. A strong interior life is a precondition of contentment and lasting happiness. Over-busy schedules offer only flashes of temporary thrills and happiness. Strong interior lives offer habits for obtaining truth and love, the elements of contentment. Truth and love lead us to God, the source of all truth and love.

If you identify Overwhelmed Ossie, the best thing to do is nothing! Stop all activity and proceed very slowly and thoughtfully. Ossie will not be able to stand the stillness and will quickly surrender.